Matt Harding dances with native people of Papua New Guinea in 2008. (Photo Credit: Screenshot from Matt's YouTube video.)
Longer than some video shorts today, the screen is black for a full ten seconds with only a brief appearance of a single word, “Dancing,” to introduce one of the first viral YouTube videos ever. The entrancing music of Deep Forest plays "Sweet Lullaby."
Slowly, an ethereal ocean scene appears in which you can't tell where the water ends and the sky begins.
A young man walks into the scene and does the most unexpected dance for the setting and location which is labeled Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia.
It's awkward. It's silly. It's full of joy!
Quickly the scene changes to Petra, Jordan; and then Machu Piccchu, Peru; then Venice, Italy; and Tokyo, Japan in the rain - all with the awkward American doing his silly dance across all 7 continents.
This video captured my heart for connection in a way nothing else on the Internet ever had before that moment.
And, yet, had I not seen this original one before its follow up video, I might not have been so significantly impacted by the second video; it is the contrast of the two that communicates so beautifully the magic of how delight increases when shared with others - particularly with strangers.
Increasing joy with strangers
That is my encouragement for you today – to make some connections with strangers through silliness.
You might think you have to initiate the silliness, and while that’s a great way to lead, it’s not the only way to have an impact. You can also lead by being a first follower. We’ll consider both styles of leadership.
We’ll talk about these videos a little more as well as more recent examples of people sharing moments together that engender responses of joy, creating brief moments of connection.
Following his desire to be more connected
Disenchanted with the eat-work-sleep, 9-5 world of traditional work, 20-something Matt Harding felt disconnected from the outside world. He craved connection.
So, he quit his job, cashed out all his savings, and started traveling in the early 2000s. He wanted to document his travels with short video recordings but wasn’t sure what to do in them. When he was working, he would do this silly dance for co-workers to celebrate lunchtime, and someone suggested he do that on his video clips. So, he did.
To even call it a dance is generous in the technical sense, but in the sense that dance is an expression of emotion, it’s one of the best dances ever invented!
It’s silly.
It’s joyful.
It overflows with an exuberance of freedom of someone who has left the isolating eat-sleep-work world and found connection with humans of all types and cultures.
The first time I was introduced to the 2006 compilation of clips that went viral, I felt that sense of jubilation and freedom flow over to me. I couldn’t watch it enough times.
Then, the 2008 compilation came out which was filmed during another round of worldwide travel, and the difference is remarkable.
At first, the clips are similar to the first compilation – Matt doing his silly dance in some interesting place in the world. A street in Mumbai, India; a mountain village in Paro, Bhutan; Giant’s Causeway, Northern Ireland; an isolated, rainy street in Stone Town, Zanzibar; and so on until we get to nearly a minute in and suddenly, people are rushing into the frame and joining Matt – all mimicking the same silly dance.
Children, people in traditional garb, waitresses in Japan, beach goers, men decked out in tribal garb in Papa New Guinea, and even a clip with synchronized Bollywood dancers in India (the only time Matt does a few actual dance moves).
The shared merriment and the exhilaration create enthusiastic sounds of connection that grab your heart. You are drawn in, practically feeling like a participant just by watching. It makes you want to dance with strangers, be silly with strangers, and experience the revelry of connection with others.
Matt Harding dances with Bollywood dancers in India during his connection-focused compilation of Where The Hell is Matt? (Photo Credit: Screenshot from Matt's YouTube video.)
Matt’s videos have been impactful to me in communicating the joy of connection, and I’m grateful for his initiative to make himself vulnerable online doing an awkward dance. He was a connection leader during the time when the term “viral video” was first being created.
Another type of leader emerged as well in these videos. These leaders are what Derek Sivers describes as first followers. “There is no movement without the first follower. See, we are told that we all need to be leaders but that would be ineffective. The best way to make a movement, if you really care, is to courageously follow and show others how to follow,” Derek Sivers.
The classic example of a first follower also involves dance. In the video filmed during an outdoor concert, one man starts dancing out in the open. At first he’s all alone, and eventually, a man joins him. They engage and now two people are dancing.
This gives others the social permission to join this odd, lone dancer because one person has deemed it safe already. That one person is the first follower. They are the gateway to all the other followers, and equally as important in leading the way as the leader who initiates the action itself
In other words, you can lead the way in connecting with others by either being an initiator or by being the first to join an initiator. Both are forms of leadership, and both are needed to facilitate connections in a world that has become increasingly disconnected.
Silly connections
Making connections with strangers doesn’t have to be elaborate like taking a trip around the world to dance with people of different cultures. Neither does it have to be profound. In fact, the simpler, the more likely people will join you – like dancing at an outdoor concert.
You might wonder if such short-term connections have social value. They do! I included some of Robert Putnam’s social research reviews on casual interactions with strangers in an earlier blog, “Are Brief Connections Worth our Time?”
So, how can you become a silly connector?
What initiated this blog topic was a meme someone sent me. (Unfortunately, I’ve been unable to locate an active account for the poster who is identified in the image meme as calamitys-child from what appears to be a Tumbler account.) It carries the sentiment “The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are joy, absurdity, and sharing.”
The post starts with the line: “I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together,” and then provides inspirational examples.
Examples of meme creator doing the “most human thing in the world”:
- Person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made-up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names
- Guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change
- A very tiny girl at the pharmacy interviewing everyone in the queue and every single one of us in turn sat down and answered this toddler's questions like we were on Letterman
During the pandemic many Silly Walking Zones were created. (Photo Credit: Screenshot from YouTube video of silly walks.)
You can find all kinds of inspiration on social media, particularly short-form posts such as the three guys in camp chairs at the side of the road encouraging drivers to intentionally hit a puddle to splash them.
Or, the homeowner in Minneapolis who holds a sharpening event for his pencil sculpture in his home’s front yard. (The huge pencil was crafted by an artist from a large tree after it was irreparably damaged in a storm.) Pencil dancers, ceremony, and free ice cream are offered to everyone who shows up.
During the pandemic, a family encouraged neighbors who walked past their home to do a silly walk; it went viral and untold others followed suit opening up similar accounts showing people doing silly walks. One person included an Amy Poehler quote on their “Silly Walking Zone” sign: “No one looks stupid when they’re having fun.”
Examples from my own family experiences:
- My college-age sons once decided to have a contest at our city’s art museum to see who could give the most ridiculous explanation of an artist’s painting. They stood in front of a picture, expounding on its color, composition, and the motivation of the artist. Seeing our little group, soon strangers began gathering around us thinking it was a docent giving a tour; they all took the serendipitous moment to heart when they realized it was all a bit of nonsense and we enjoyed a brief moment of connection between art-enthusiasts.
- When my youngest was not quite yet a teen, he and his older brothers took the family video camera out into our neighborhood of college students. He wore a felt, rainbow, stovepipe hat and carried a microphone. He knocked on doors and introduced himself as Joe Frisco, Ambush Reporter, and began asking ridiculous questions. Neighbors who were complete strangers went along with it all in an improv “yes and” manner discussing important topics like the impact of HVAC vent cleaning on the climate. One young man responded to the question, “What do you enjoy most about this college campus?” with “Well, meeting cool people like you, Joe Frisco!” It’s a treasured family VHS tape.
- My oldest son learned how to pin inspirational notes to others at festivals and has transferred that to everyday interactions. He writes encouraging messages on clothespins and clandestinely clips them onto strangers so they will find them later. They say things like “You’re awesome!” “It’s a beautiful day to be yourself!” or simply, “Happy Thursday!”
Be creative, and go out today and lead some silly connections whether as the silly initiator or a first follower!
Golden Connection Challenge:
Actively look for strangers doing something silly and become the first follower - join in and invite others to join in.
Or, be the person initiating something silly, perhaps with a few friends. How many strangers can you get to have a little fun and connect for just a moment, making everyone’s day brighter?