Charlotte Erin Massey and her soon-to-be husband, Tom, kiss at their camp-themed wedding. Photo Credit: Screenshot of Charolottegetscreative Instagram post.
Imagine showing up for a wedding and being faced with two camp counselors complete in camp kerchiefs and matching sun visors sitting behind a folding table asking you to check-in and choose your own kerchief color.
Activities for the evening? Friendship Scavenger Hunt, hiking, even Capture the Flag, bonfire, and onsite camping for those who wanted to stay over.
This was exactly the setting for Charlotte Erin Massey who shared the experience on her Instagram account, charlottegetscreative.
Okay, it wasn’t exactly the wedding event itself; it was the wedding welcome party, but still, how cool is this to connect the friends and family of the couple?
Celebrations like weddings are one of the most important places to demonstrate and practice living in community! Today we celebrate doing that in a way that is off the charts for fun and connection. Way to go Charlotte and Tom and congratulations on your wedding!
One of the best connecting elements of this were the kerchiefs which came in two colors and gave people a team to belong to for the weekend. It also provided entertainment for friendly rivalry and a spirited game of Capture the Flag.
The thing that stood out most to me for creating social value through connections was that Charlotte and Tom got a lot of help from their friends and family. Friends manned the camp check-in, a family member made an activity board with schedule, and there was a shared meal of a taco bar.
One of the things I learned moving around the country 15 times as an adult is that a really great way to connect with new people in your community is to ask a favor.
We tend to think the politest thing we can do is offer assistance; in my experience though, one of the best things you can do to help someone feel valued and connected is ask them for help. This is particularly true if what they can help you with is something they have expertise in like carpentry or cooking.
One of the easiest ways to ask for assistance is to simply ask someone’s advice:
- How do you make your chocolate chip cookies so crispy?
- Where is the best location to see fireworks on the Fourth of July?
- What is the best park for kids in the area?
I recently asked my neighbor to mow my lawn when my back was in so much pain I could barely walk.
After that, he initiated other suggestions like dragging my kayak down to the water so I could watch the fireworks from the lake during the Fourth of July holiday. After the fireworks, he and his wife came over and joined us for smores over the fire.
Asking for help added to our comfortability and connection with one another.
I was surprised to find while moving to new communities that people would often light up when I asked them for some specific assistance or advice. I was the one getting a service – shouldn’t I be the grateful one?
I came to learn that research shows people feel more connected with a greater sense of belonging when they can contribute to others in their community. I learned that asking for advice was as much a benefit for others as it was myself, and I began to intentionally look for ways to pull others into community by asking for their assistance and advice.
I applaud Charlotte and Tom for creating an experience that connected their friends and family in ways they will always remember.
Golden Connection Challenge:
Who in your circle of community can you connect with this week by asking for advice or a favor?
I’d love to hear about your experiences with a comment here or email me using the contact form.