Dominoes with a Caribbean design from a liming inspired health project. Sets were sent to social gathering places in the UK such as cafes, barber shops, and academic institutions to engender conversations in casual settings. The creative agency Ketchum developed the initiative.
When was the last time you hung out with family or friends with no agenda, no purpose, no structured activity?
I asked myself this question recently after seeing a reel where Trevor Noah described the practice of liming in Caribbean culture.
I had to think back to being a child when I used to go over to my grandmother’s house and just be there. I wasn’t participating in any meaningful way; I would just be there, sitting at the kitchen table or on the couch.
My best friend, Gloria, and I would often just be together, hanging out in our rooms, not really doing anything.
These are two people I love dearly and bonded with strongly. Looking back, those experiences of just being together feel special and have power.
In Caribbean culture, Trevor explains, “[My friends], they say, ‘Let’s lime.’ And, liming means spending time together with no purpose whatsoever."
"They're like, ‘Yo, we're going to lime on Saturday.’ That means we're doing nothing. It doesn't mean we're going to go see a game; it doesn't mean we're going to watch a movie. We’re gonna lime. It means your friend is gonna come, they're gonna sit on the couch, and you're just gonna be."
"You'll talk and then you won't talk, and then you laugh and then you won't laugh. Just be. Not do a thing.”
He describes how goal-oriented our societal norms are for gathering where it seems there always needs to be something additional to bring us together – fishing, shopping, or some other activity. We rarely get together and just “be,” yet, those are the places where we can practice “the art of connecting with [one another] for no other purpose than to just like, share our hearts, and be human beings.”
Trevor paints a beautiful picture of how to show love to one another for our February Love in Action Series: the art of connecting, sharing our hearts, and simply being human together.
He fully explores the value of liming for mental well-being and community strength in the interview from which the clip was taken: ”Trevor Noah: My Depression Was Linked To ADHD! Why I Left The Daily Show!” on: The Diary Of A CEO YouTube Channel.
Liming is so powerful in creating connections and starting conversations that it inspired an organization to launch an initiative for intergenerational family discussions about genetics and inherited health traits: It's called Liming with Gran.
Author and founder of the groundbreaking magazine Gal-dem, Liv Little, explains the value of having spaces where uncomfortable topics are easier to address, “From my own experience, when my dad was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, having these conversations felt intense and overwhelming. So, having a discussion in a less formal setting, such as liming, is a beautiful and less daunting way to approach a seemingly scary and perhaps uncomfortable topic.”
Think about the conversations that happen during long car rides. When nothing else is pulling for your attention, it’s easier to fall into conversations that feel too big to approach in other settings. Announcing you want to discuss something intense with someone can be so intimidating, it might not ever happen. Yet, mentioning the same topic while just hanging out feels doable. When we are just being together in a space, conversation happens more organically.
The problem is that in our society, we rarely make time to just be with ourselves, much less others.
What if we committed to incorporating liming into our lives? What if we socialized without a specific purpose? Simply being present with others, engaging in conversation, and enjoying each other’s company without any particular agenda or distracting activities.
Unstructured social time is incredibly valuable for building relationships and community. Let’s spend more time simply being together.
Next week, we’ll talk more about the power of loving others by just being with them.
Golden Connection Challenge:
Lime with someone this week.
Share this blog with others to increase social value in the new year.
I’d love to hear about your experiences with a comment here or email me using the contact form.
Sign up today!
Stay connected
&
Get the Free
2025 Golden Connections
BINGO Card
